Monday, 15 September 2014
A Letter To My Younger Self...
Dear 21 Year Old Lucy,
I know you're feeling a bit lost right now. You don't truly know who you are yet, or what you want from life, but you soon will - all that soul searching you're doing right now will really help you to get things clearer. I wish you could know how great everything is going to become in your future! You have some hard years ahead of you - some tough decisions to make, relationships to break, and mistakes that you have to go and make - if you don't you'll end up somewhere different to where you are now, and where you are now at 27 is really great!
Please don't keep stressing about the future and about all of the 'what if's', stop telling yourself that you'll never meet anyone worth settling down with, and that you'll probably end up alone - that's just the voice of the silly woe-is-me teenager that's still stuck inside you. Ignore her! You need to move on from that teenage woe…it won't help. You should be more confident, you have so much potential to offer the world, and you mean an awful lot to a great number of people. You're a good person - don't forget that!
I want to talk to you about your teenage years - yes, they were really tough (whose weren't?) and you had to learn some harsh life lessons. You made some really bad relationship choices, and got very hurt - but look how strong those experiences have made you! Stop stewing about those silly decisions, you made them, you got knocked down, but you picked yourself back up again - that's the bit you MUST concentrate on - your strength, not your weakness. Those awful relationships have taught you exactly what you DON'T want from a partner, they will inform all your other relationship choices, and eventually you're going to make a blinder of a choice, and marry someone who is perfect for you, and who will never hurt you like you've been hurt before.
Now, I know you don't want to hear it, but I need to talk to you about your weight. You're a very big girl, and it makes you miserable every day. It affects your confidence constantly, and you beat yourself up about it all of the time. What would be really useful for you long-term is to just get on and do something about it RIGHT NOW at 21. It will save you the really hard slog in 6 years time when you'll have to embark on a 6 stone weight loss journey.
Trust me when I tell you how much happier you will be when you are lighter, fitter and healthier. You'll have so much more confidence and you'll fall in love with fashion for the first time. I know that you imagine all the time what it would be like to be able to buy clothes from any shop on the high street instead of just the 'plus size' sections - I can tell you what it will feel like...it will be brilliant! You'll be desperate to buy beautiful clothes all of the time and you'll be able to wear stunning clothes from shops you absolutely love such as Boden, Joules and Cath Kidston!! And you'll start to feel pretty and sexy for perhaps the first time ever. You won't have to avoid shopping trips with your friends because they're all thinner and can fit into clothes in shops that you can't. Do it now Lucy - start exercising as much as you can, and try to teach yourself moderation when it comes to eating. Don't keep using food as your crutch, it will just make you more miserable. Discover calorie counting, it really works, and will teach you what is 'enough' for your body to consume. If you do it now you'll have so many more years of happiness and self confidence, you won't regret it.
Finally, listen to your mum! I know you don't want to admit it at the moment, but deep down you know that she's always right. She's a great judge of character - and when she tells you to go on a second date with a man called Liam, DEFINITELY listen to her…he's a keeper.
Be kind to yourself Lucy, give yourself a break, leave the past behind you and see the potential staring back at you in the mirror and start making the most of it!
27 Year Old Lucy
Disclaimer: This post is a 'Letter To My Younger Self' in partnership with Legal & General